"I don't know!" Thor has rarely excelled at talking about his feelings, not when they hurt, when he feels backed into a corner with nowhere to go. It has been a struggle to accept what Eir has told him about depression and post-traumatic stress, that it does not make him weaker, and those are things that he understands. This is something else, something that cannot be blamed on his illness. This is something he should be able to control, a choice he can make, and yet...
...and yet...
Amelia has him dead to rights, and he cannot bring himself to get angry with her, to throw her out of his house and destroy the friendship they've built. The old shame snakes its way into his chest again, that insidious little voice inside that tells him that he's a failure and he might as well accept that. He's gotten very good at ignoring that voice, but right now it's all but impossible to muster his defenses against it. "I can't stop myself," he admits, so quiet that she might have missed it, if not for the attention she refuses to avert from him.
no subject
...and yet...
Amelia has him dead to rights, and he cannot bring himself to get angry with her, to throw her out of his house and destroy the friendship they've built. The old shame snakes its way into his chest again, that insidious little voice inside that tells him that he's a failure and he might as well accept that. He's gotten very good at ignoring that voice, but right now it's all but impossible to muster his defenses against it. "I can't stop myself," he admits, so quiet that she might have missed it, if not for the attention she refuses to avert from him.