He never feels himself after these strange episodes, worse than he usually is, as if things around him are not quite real. She feels real enough, however, so he does not shake off her touch, trying to focus on his breathing and the easing of the crushing pain in his chest. He can't stop himself from shaking, even though the fear is passing, and that shames him.

He's supposed to be stronger than this. He is a god, and a king, and a warrior besides. But nothing he has ever faced could match this horror, nor prepare him for it in any way.

"It doesn't," he says, voice low, not meeting her eye. "It follows me everywhere. I can't... it won't go away."