Our children. He doesn't mean it in the way that makes her heart beat faster, but someday... someday he might. He will, and it both excites and terrifies her. She doesn't have the words to express that right now, but the feelings are there. Instead she simply nods, grateful that there's a chance of easier learning ahead of her, and then turns her thoughts to what she will expect of him.
It's a question far outside anything she's ever had reason to consider. Marriage was never meant to be hers, or so she was certain for a decade back home, and that same certainty came with her to the Nexus, to Asvera. She doesn't know what people expect of their spouses, much less what a queen should expect of her king. Her lips press into a thoughtful line as she thinks on it for the very first time, and she can think of nothing that doesn't feel as if it's asking too much. She doesn't consider herself in this way, something he knows very well, but she has to. For the sake of their relationship, she must put herself first, at least a little.
"I don't know," she admits with a sigh. "As I said, this is... something I never thought to have, and so I never cared to learn what other people do or want for their marriages. I never watched my parents like that, and I never thought to ask any of my friends - our friends - about it." Now she's left feeling like she's failing him already. She sighs again and looks down at their connected hands.
"What I do know is that I don't want to be separated from you, and for no one to force you to look for another to stand at your side while I'm still here. You hold my heart, and it's--" Dreams, this is difficult to think, much less say. "It's unfair to ask me to set aside my love and feelings for the sake of the future. We only have so much time together, and I don't want to be an afterthought even when I'm confined to our home due to age and frailty."
There's more to it than only that, and there are other thoughts attempting to form in her head, but this is the most important part of what she's feeling. Fairness isn't a thing anyone in life is guaranteed, but if she's going to play a part as large as their union requires, she wants at least some given in her direction.
no subject
It's a question far outside anything she's ever had reason to consider. Marriage was never meant to be hers, or so she was certain for a decade back home, and that same certainty came with her to the Nexus, to Asvera. She doesn't know what people expect of their spouses, much less what a queen should expect of her king. Her lips press into a thoughtful line as she thinks on it for the very first time, and she can think of nothing that doesn't feel as if it's asking too much. She doesn't consider herself in this way, something he knows very well, but she has to. For the sake of their relationship, she must put herself first, at least a little.
"I don't know," she admits with a sigh. "As I said, this is... something I never thought to have, and so I never cared to learn what other people do or want for their marriages. I never watched my parents like that, and I never thought to ask any of my friends - our friends - about it." Now she's left feeling like she's failing him already. She sighs again and looks down at their connected hands.
"What I do know is that I don't want to be separated from you, and for no one to force you to look for another to stand at your side while I'm still here. You hold my heart, and it's--" Dreams, this is difficult to think, much less say. "It's unfair to ask me to set aside my love and feelings for the sake of the future. We only have so much time together, and I don't want to be an afterthought even when I'm confined to our home due to age and frailty."
There's more to it than only that, and there are other thoughts attempting to form in her head, but this is the most important part of what she's feeling. Fairness isn't a thing anyone in life is guaranteed, but if she's going to play a part as large as their union requires, she wants at least some given in her direction.